I'm sorry for being so closed off.

Lately, people have been implying that I hide too much of myself from the world. First, let me tell you how wrong you are. The world knows me inside out, thoroughly and completely. On campus, late at night, I walk alone in the world and I talk out loud. I talk to myself, the stars, the imaginary person that I wish was with me right then and there. I'm sorry friends, but the world knows me better than you. If you'd like the edit that statement and claim that I hide too much of myself from you, my dear friends, then yes, I guess your right. I never meant to be like this, as a matter of fact before this last year I was the girl who trusted too much. What a cliche right? "The girl who got her heartbroken and now doesn't trust anyone." Please don't judge, because I think it's true. I don't believe in anyone and I think it's starting to show.

However, there are a few of you out there that I think deserve to know me. And I think I trust you. So take this as a gift, an annoyance, or just skim past it, but this is for you.

1. I love my mom more than anyone in the world. She's the most spontaneous, random, clueless, naive person on the planet and I hope I grow up to be just like her.
2. I am heartbreakingly jealous of my sister's relationship with my brothers.
3. I am the best liar I know.
4. When I was little, whenever I got a helium balloon that I didn't suck the air out of, I'd tie an encouraging note to it and let it go, hoping that I'd change someones life.
5. I honestly believe my dog understands everything I say.
6. Jello is fascinating.
7. I found out a secret about my dad about 5 years ago and I've been terrified of him ever since. And I feel guilty for allowing it to hurt our relationship every single day.
8. Within in the last month or so, I'm actually starting to appreciate my beauty and who I am.
9. I keep my purity ring on even though I broke the promise... yet, for some reason I have never felt any guilt about it.
10. I tell people it's going to be okay, even when I know it's not. But hey, I can only hope that they'd do the same for me when I need it.
11. I always say I don't want to get married, but I totally do.
12. The person who has hurt me most in my life isn't my ex boyfriend, it's my oldest brother.
13. My favorite adrenaline rush is any act of rebellion.
14. I think I love someone who is perfect for me, but it's not perfect.
15. I think I like someone who sucks for me, but I'm drawn to imperfection.
16. I truly believe in leaving before you're left, because it gives me a sense of pride that I was able to walk away.
17. I really don't enjoy drinking most of the time, I just do it because it's a fun way for everyone else to relax and get on the same level of happiness of me.
18. Speaking of which, I really really am a happy person. Happier than anyone I know. And I am truly thankful for that. Whatever it is, i hope it never goes away.
19. I take it as flattery when I hear that I'm not showing enough emotion, it means I'm tough and that my plan is working.
20. I suck at planning. I don't know why, but I am incapable of making plans more than a few hours ahead of time.
21. I purposely don't text boys back, cause I'm terrified of being the clingy type.
22. I think I have everyone figured out.
23. I don't believe in saving money, what's the point of saving? Live in the moment, enjoy what you have now and worry about the rest later.
24. I want to travel everywhere. I want to learn about new cultures, experience new things and have no idea what the hell is going on. I want to see more than just whats in front of me.
25. I lovee the chase.
26. Every prom/homecoming/formal dress I have ever bought is still sitting in my closet, and I think they're the ugliest things ever.
27. I was never sad when my grandma died, but it's okay cause everyone else in my family are fakers too.
28. I feel closer to people when they're farther away.
29. My grades are average... but I could definitely do better. I just find better things to do.
30. I always wanted to runaway when I was little... and I still do. But only for the adventure!
31. I need attention in order to survive.