Dear New Girlfriend.

Dear new girlfriend,

I hope you are happy. I hope you stay happy for a very long time. I hope you dedicate a large portion of your lives to each other, and when you look back 14 months from now, I hope that all you see are the happy times you have shared with him in your life. Next Christmas, I hope he makes it really special—one of the most romantic ones yet. And I hope all those love songs that make you feel at home get stuck in your head throughout the holiday season. On New Year’s Eve I hope you feel like it’s going to be the best year yet, just because you have him. I hope that midnight kiss initiates so much blood pumping that you feel like you might have a heart attack. I hope the fireworks you see in the sky aren’t nearly as beautiful as the ones in his eyes. As winter turns into spring, I pray your like turns into love and respect to admiration. I hope you lay in bed at night talking on the phone for hours—about sweet nothings. I hope he gives you a night to remember. Forever. I hope this newfound love of yours brings on great new experiences and feelings that make life worthwhile. I hope that one day he’ll grab your hands—it feels like fire—look you deeply in the eyes, almost to your soul, and tells you he loves you. And I hope you are never the same after that moment. I really hope you start to talk about him so much that even your best of friends get annoyed, but in a good way because they are just so damn happy for you. I hope one day he takes you on a road trip, one that makes you fall in love with him all over again. The hours spent in the car will seem like minutes and the laughter will chase away the dullness of time. Actually, I hope the whole time your together feels like this. Like life is a looking glass, and all you can see is you two—everything else is just a bonus. Then I hope that glass shatters. And you can’t see anything except the brokenness. I hope you look back on those 14 months and see all the pain love allowed you to ignore. I hope you’re blinded, because love is blind—and I hope he leaves you alone in your darkness. I hope you clutch your phone in anticipation, and then I hope you throw it against the wall when you finally realize it was a wasted effort. I hope those hours spent on the phone turn into minutes and most of them are spent in tears. I hope he’s late for every. single. date. I hope that when you finally go your separate ways that it’s the hardest thing you have ever done. When you reach for the telephone to tell him about ‘the funniest thing happened today..’ I hope he doesn’t answer. And I hope it hurts. I know his words will echo in your heart forever, and you’ll long for the sound of his voice. Don’t worry, that last moment together won’t be the last time you’ll see him—you’ll spot him everywhere. He’ll haunt your dreams, thoughts and even your reality. Eventually though, you’re going to start to feel okay. Your body will get tired of being broken and finally go into protection mode and allow you to feel nothing. I hope it’s the worst nothing you have ever felt.

I hope you fall in love with him you shiesty little bitch.